Woman Exposes Cousin During Wedding After Finding Out She Wasn’t Invited, Despite Her Parents and Siblings Being on the Guest List

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    AITA for assuming I was invited to my cousin's wedding, and "making a scene" when I found out I wasn't?
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    My (18f) cousin's (22f) wedding was this weekend. I'll call her Mary. Growing up, we were pretty close, as me and my siblings (20f and 23m) often went to Mary's house. Lately, we haven't seen each other much, because all of them moved away
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    for college, but it's still nice to see each other at family events. A year and a half ago, she met her now husband. He was invited to Christmas, Easter, and every family event since then. When he was there, I noticed that Mary
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    was a lot more distant than usually and barely talked to me but talked with my siblings all night. I figured it was probably just because of our age difference. A few weeks/months ago, we got an invitation to their wedding in
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    the mail. Or at least my parents did. My name wasn't mentioned on the invitation, which was addressed to "The ourlastnames", but since I still live with my parents, and my brother and sister both got one, I assumed I was included, and so did my
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    parents. But Mary's face dropped when she saw me. She pretended to smile but I could see something was bothering her. The wedding went on, but during the cocktail Mary came up to me and asked me why I came, since
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    she didn't send me an invitation. I was taken aback a bit, but told her that we assumed I was included, and asked her why she didn't invite me. She avoided the question, but after insisting a bit she told me that she wanted her husband's family to have a good
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    impression of her family, and didn't want them to know that her cousin was a lesbian, because she wanted to have a "normal family". For context, our family is pretty open minded, and all of them accept me, but her husband and
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    his family are a lot more traditional and conservative. What I don't understand is, I don't "look gay" (whatever that means), and they would've never known unless someone told them. I was so shocked. I told her that she was sick for caring about
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    impressing a bunch of bigots more than her own cousin. She got mad at me and we both got a bit loud, which attracted attention. People came to find out what was happening. When they found out, my parents said that she was being mean and
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    shouldn't have made a big deal about this. A bunch of other people said that it was wrong of me to come when I wasn't invited. Mary started telling me to leave, so I stormed off. Since, I have been receiving texts from her and her parents saying
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    that I was a for coming, making a scene, and ruining her big day. I understand that it's her wedding and she can invite whoever she wants, but her words were so hurtful... And I genuinely thought I was invited.
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    But I know it's wrong that I caused such a scene on her wedding day. Maybe I should've just left and not said anything? AITA?
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    Equivalent-Moose2886 Partassipant [4] • 11h ago Edited 10h ago • • I'm going with NTA, if it was genuinely an innocent mistake about the invite. I mean, you live at home, your parents and siblings were invited, you've never been previously excluded, there was no reason to think that you weren't included even though not specifically mentioned, as you said your siblings don't live at home so they got separate invites.
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    Out of interest would your parents and siblings etc still have gone to the wedding if they knew had been excluded for being a lesbian? that you Even about the scene: you did not cause a scene, she was the one that made a scene. She could've just looked passed your attendance, since you weren't harming anyone. But instead she insulted you, and you defended yourself.
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    Parttime-Princess • 11h ago • NTA. A card to "the lastnames" would normally include everyone in that fanily living there. No reason to ask either. I would also have assumed I was invited.
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    3bag NTA . 11h ago • If your parents and siblings were all invited, it would be logical to believe you were invited too. Especially as nobody had discussed it with your family. Did your grandparents know that you weren't invited? At least your family can cut them all off knowing what awful people they are.
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    Prof-Dr-Overdrive • 11h ago • NTA, I think your cousin deliberately was wishy- washy in the letter, because she did not want your parents to know that you weren't invited, but she also wanted to butter up her new bigoted family. And when you came, she tried to blame it all on you and provoke you in order to make you look like you were in the wrong.
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    A few weeks/months ago, we got an invitation to their wedding in the mail. Or at least my parents did. My name wasn't mentioned on the invitation, which was addressed to "The ourlastnames", but since I still live with my parents, and my brother and sister both got one, I assumed I was included, and so did my parents. But Mary's face dropped when she saw me. She pretended to smile but I could see something was bothering her.

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